you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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