After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I will pee on everything he values.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i need some magic done to my vagina
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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