he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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