Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
