your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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