i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
