How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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