Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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