I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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