Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize