I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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