I wish I could teleport
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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