I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
