About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
