i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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