Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
