how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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