i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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