My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
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90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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