apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
smell my finger.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
