I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
