your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
