You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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