Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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