guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
