Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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