Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
