I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
