dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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