My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My ass is underappreciated
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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