shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My vagina is very pro this idea
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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