Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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