jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
