Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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