Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize