Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize