so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
