I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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