you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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