Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
