Jerry, you need to find god
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
