walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
