Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
