Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also, beer. Big fan.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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