my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
dude. I can hear the air.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
