I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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