So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
