Sry I called you an 8
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
