We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
