My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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