god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
