whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
