What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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