RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
