weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
