i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize