dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize