So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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